Trust God in The Midst of Adversity!

I’m passionate about a lot of things, but nothing compares to my relationship with God and being able to study the Bible with women and seeing lives transformed.

Seven years ago, I would never have imagined myself saying the above statement. My future plans didn't include studying the bible, drinking tea, and conversing with God at a coffee shop. However, our plans are never His plans, and I’m so grateful because Trust God and Drink Tea’s blog was born during a very challenging time in my life.

With less than $1000 in my savings account, I had just moved back to Chicago from L.A. at the end of 2015. I was living in a studio apartment in Hyde Park with two kids, I had no desire to work, or perform. My appetite for music, people and just the use of my heart outside of my responsibilities for my kids was gone. It seemed like my dreams were out of reach, my spirit was broken from disappointment after disappointment, and I was mentally burned out from the hustle and bustle of it all.

I remember dragging myself out of the bed, sitting alone at a coffee shop drinking tea, talking to God about how much I felt forgotten by him. I had so many hopes and dreams that felt deferred and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. While I was surrounded by people, I felt very alone. As someone who bounces back quickly from adversity, and not seek validation, I didn’t feel as if anyone cared about how I was really doing. I guess the expectations of being strong and never broken lingered in the air.

While journaling was not one of my strong suits, there was so much I needed to clear my mind and confront God about. I mean He knows the desires of my heart. He knows my hopes, dreams and future. In the midst of my breakdown, where was he? Why did he feel so far away? Why was I going through this? I was a bit desperate to have a bit of insight and direction from God.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

So, for the next three days I committed to dragging myself out of the bed, sitting at a coffee shop, with a pen and pad, sipping tea and pouring my thoughts and emotions on paper, waiting on God to answer me. I wandered aimlessly around my neighborhood, finding it pretty challenging to return to my apartment alone. I felt as if I was literally suffocating within those four walls. It was difficult for me to accept the reality of my current situation, and the crazy part is I wasn't sure if I was completely surrendered to the moment of seeking God with all my heart.

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

At that moment I heard God say, "This too shall pass. You just need to trust me! When you start to trust me, and stop being so self-reliant, everything will begin to unfold for you." He was right, I didn't trust Him. I barely even knew Him. I grew up in church, but as you get older God doesn’t stay your 1st, 2nd or 3rd choice when you’ve never felt like you had a choice in the matter of going to church due to family traditions.

I didn't want to overthink this moment and allow my lack of faith and fear of stepping out in His dependence to hold me back. Despite my best efforts, things weren't looking good, so unless God intervened, I was sure to fail. I kept telling myself, “If not for yourself, do it for your children.” I'd sacrifice it all for my children.

This realization is where my life took a shift for the better.

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

One scripture and sip at a time I started to Trust God with my broken pieces. My heart began to soften, my view on life and compassion to serve people began to change. Something bigger than myself longed to make an impact as I started to truly understand the life and character of Jesus. It's as if the world started to unfold for me as he had promised. Did you know that there are over 5000 promises in the bible? God promises to strengthen, give rest, protect, provide, answer prayers, purify, restore, give us freedom from sin, provide an everlasting life, promises to be with me to the very end, and the list goes on and on.

Trusting myself in God's hands wasn’t an overnight Holy moment. It was a lot of tears, on my knees, denial, separation from people, places and familiar things that no longer served the woman I was becoming. I literally adjusted my life for what I was praying for to live the best possible life. Was I terrified? Absolutely! Everything I thought I knew back then I put into His hands to walk a narrower path. That was my promise to Him.

Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

How incredible it is to make a decision to enter through that narrow gate. The opportunity to study the bible with some incredible women, fall in love with God’s word and experience such an extraordinary life in Christ, I could have never imagined! Although I've had a lot of unlearning and sacrifices to make, I’m just getting started as I pour from a cup of Love, Peace, Grace and Gratitude.

And to think it all started with a decision to Trust God and Drink Tea.

Love,

Iesha